Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall
by Cheshire Cat5
Summary: COMPLETE: Naru whacks Keitaro so hard he breaks right out of the story. What new abilities will this give him? And will he take advantage of them?
1. Chapter One: CRASH!

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

_Disclaimer:_ Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't. 

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at //oneoverzero.keenspace.com/ . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break... 

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be). 

* * *

**Chapter One: A flight a bit too far? CRASH!**

"Better take this chance to clean the hot springs," mumbled Keitaro to himself, as he gathered together bucket and broom. "After all, I have to study with Naru and Mutsumi soon, and I don't want to keep Naru waiting!". At the thought of Naru, he immediately fell into a daydream, imagining her pleased - and passionate! - reaction to hearing his passing of the Todai entrance examinations with the highest marks in all of Japan. Wrapped up in this daydream, he failed to notice that the hot springs were not unoccupied - at least, until he was snapped out of his thoughts by an irate shout. 

"Urashima! You... you... ". He looked up, only to obtain a prime eyeful of Motoko wearing nothing more than a towel and a furious blush. Blood started to ooze from his left nostril, as he backed away in panic. 

"Ah... no! Motoko-chan! It was an accident, I...." 

"Shin-meiruu rock-splitting attack!" she shouted, bringing down her sword and launching Keitaro into the atmosphere with an explosive blast of ki. However, her embarassment (and the requirement for holding the towel in place during the attack) must have impaired her style, since instead of flying out over the town Keitaro instead flew straight up, only to crash down onto the upstairs sun deck. 

Sadly for Keitaro, however, the sun deck was already occupied. As Shinobu worked dilligently to hang out the freshly-washed laundry, she was not prepared for Keitaro's sudden arrival. A sudden crash resulted in a pile consisting of Keitaro, Shinobu (with eyes spinning), and the laundry. Keitaro staggered to his feet, pulling out his handkerchief to wipe his forehead. 

As he mopped his brow, he turned to see Shinobu looking at him in horror, her eyes wide and pointing. 

"S...Sempai! You.... no.... auwwww!!!!!" she wailed, turning and running. 

Briefly, Keitaro wondered about this unusual behaviour, before remembering that in fact he did not actually posess a handkerchief. Close behind this piece of information came the realisation that the fabric in his had was in fact a pair of white panties with a strawberry motif, with 'Meahara Shinobu' written neatly on the waistband. The next piece of information to come to him was that he was, in fact, festooned with other pieces of lingerie and was sitting in a pile of the same. 

The nosebleed started again. 

"Well, looks like we got us here a panty thief!" came a brash voice, and Keitaro looked up to see Kitsune grinning at him, with a furious Motoko behind her. 

"I would let you have some of mine, but I just don't wear them any more," she added. "Still, I see you have a few of Motoko's for your collection!" 

Motoko became even more incensed as she saw several articles of her more intimate wardrobe dangling from Keitaro's head. At this point, Keitaro's instinct for self-preservation kicked in, and he ran. 

"Sorry! I'm sorry! It was an accident!" he yelled as he dodged ki blasts. Running into the inn, he desperately searched for somewhere to hide. 

Up ahead, he saw an open doorway, and dived through it at top speed. In doing so, he tripped over something that went "Myu!" and fell forward, his arms outstretched, grabbing for support. 

Crashing down, he nevertheless managed to grab something, although it didn't seem to give him much support. After shaking his head to clear his spinning vision, he looked up to see where he was... and immediately wished he had not. He had run into Naru's room, where Naru and Mutsumi were already started on the revision and waiting for him. In a spectacular coincidence, he had somehow managed to grab hold of both of the girls during his tumble, and as a result now held a pair of white panties on his left hand, and sky-blue in his right. Mutsumi's panties. Naru's panties.... 

The nosebleed started again as he realised precisely what he held. 

"Ara..." Mutsumi giggled. "I would have given them to you if you had asked, Kei-kun!" 

"You... you... panty collector!" fumed Naru, in a voice like an avenging demon. "So, just gathering the last two for your collection, heh?" 

"Urashima, this is low, even for you!" shouted Motoko, arriving at the door with the rest of the group. 

Kaolla ran up behind Keitaro, and hung another pair on his head, shouting "Keitarrrro! Now you have mine too! Full set! What a pervert!" 

A noise like an impending earthquake dragged Keitaro's attention back to Naru. Her eyes were burning red, and it seemed to him as if flames were rising behind her... he was for it this time! She gathered up her fist... 

"N..Narusegawa! I can explain! It was an accident! I...." 

"HENTAI NO BAKAAAAAAAAA!" she screamed, letting fly with a massive swing. Keitaro crashed through the wall without appearing to slow, and disappeared. 

* * *

As I sat in front of my desk writing, I felt a slight breeze and looked up. Suddenly, with a -pop- a battered Japanese ronin appeared and crashed down on the floor beside me. 

"Well, there's something you don't see every day!" I murmured. "I didn't realise she had hit you quite so hard as all that. I suppose I should apologise for writing you into such a situation..." 

Keitaro looked up dizzily, and tried to work out here the hell he was. 

* * *

* * *

So, chapter one is finished. Please read and review, and tell me what you think of my first attempt. You can be as cruel as I have been in my reviews of your work! 

PG-13 for the image of Mutsumi and Naru with their underwear removed. 

Hentai no baka: 'Stupid pervert', I think. But I may be wrong. 


	2. Chapter Two: GUARDIAN ANGEL?

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't.

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at /oneoverzero. . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break...

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be).

* * *

**Chapter Two: Unfair influence? Keitaro gets the upper hand: GUARDIAN ANGEL**

I was busy explaining to Keitaro how he had ended up in his current predicament.

"You see, she seems to have hit you so hard you've broken through the Fourth Wall and ended up in a meta-story with me. I'm the author, you see..."

"AKAMATSU-SAMA? Hmm... I expected you to be, well, Japanese... come to that, how do I even know about Akamatsu-sama?"

"Aha, no, no, I'm not Akamatsu-sama!" I corrected hurridly, in line with the Disclaimer at the top of the page while rubbing the back of my neck in embarassment. "I'm just a fan-fiction writer! And, I guess that having broken through the fourth wall, you now have the same amount of extra knowledge that I do. Explains why you're speaking English so well, since about the only sentence I can put together in Japanese is 'I love you' and that isn't so relevant at this point. This does open up some interesting possibilities, though..."

Keitaro looked around in bewilderment, and not a little interest.

"This is a bit strange! You know, most people who do a self-insert would put themselves with one of the female characters, you know." he commented, narrowing his eyes. "Wait a minute! This isn't going to be some hentai shonen-ai thing is it? Because, if so..."

"No, no! You get me wrong! In any case, if I was going to do a self-insert, it would be a hot little lemon involving Shinobu (conveniently aged by about eight years) and her needing comfort after being cruelly rejected by her one true love..." My eyes misted up a bit, before I quickly coughed and snapped back to reality. "In any case, lets get back to the case in point! I am in a position to do you quite a major favour here..."

"I told you, absolutely _no_ shonen-ai! I am..."

"Oh good grief. Let me spell it out to you then. In my position as author, I can put you into all sorts of interesting situations with the girls. I can write you a steamy, passionate sex scene, or give you revenge on Naru, or even do something really peculiar and outlandish like - oh, I dont know, turn you into a vampire or something. Although that would be a bit far-fetched..."

"Vampire?"

"Anyway... to go back to my offer. Just pick one of the girls, and I'll get you some action! How about that Mutsumi? She would even do it in character..."

"N..Narusagawa!"

"Oh please. She doesn't deserve you, you know!" I retorted, "You know, all of them (well, apart from Kaolla and Sara, because they're too young) are hot for you. I'll even manage to control my jealousy and give you a chance with Shinobu, if you really want..." I scowled a bit at the thought of my innocent Shinobu being desecrated by Keitaro's grubby hands.

"But, I want Narusegawa! Why would I want any of the others? Sure, they're nice, but..."

"How about Motoko? Very popular pairing in fan-fiction, or so I am led to believe. Firm, athletic body, but womanly figure - and remember in episode 25 when she wore that maids outfit? Surely that gave you a bit of an idea?"

"Are you crazy? She'd eat me alive!"

"Okay, okay. Mutsumi, then. She might be a bit ditzy, but if her figure was any more feminine, then she'd overbalance! I can get you back into that love-hotel that you shared at Christmas, and you can take it from there..."

"She'd just pass out on me. Why won't you help me get Narusegawa?"

"Naru is a violent bitch, who can't face her own feelings. Alright, last offer. How about this for a storyline? You, Mutsumi, and Motoko, trapped in Hinata-sou in midwinter. Freezing cold, and the heating is out. Then, Kaolla's mutant clothes-moths get out and eat all the clothing in the building. You have to combine body-heat to survive..."

I looked over at Keitaro, who was clearly wrapped up in this vision, and gave an exasperated sigh as I passed him the tissues.

"Try to keep blood off the floor! Do all Japanese boys have weak sinuses? I'm amazed you don't pass out like Mutsumi the amount of nosebleeds you have..."

After a long discussion, finally we came to a decision. It wasn't exactly what I expected - after all, I had offered him a free chance with any of them! - but it seems that even on this side of the Fourth Wall, Keitaro's basic honesty is preserved. Looks like I've promised to become his 'guardian angel', and give the plot a 'nudge' each time he asks. This should let him be protected from whatever situations crop up...

I still think the clothes-moths idea would have been better.

* * *

Chapter two finished. Let me know what you think, however bad. 

shonen-ai: gay relationship story  
hentai: pervert (also used to mean R-rated)  
-sama: very respectful suffix, more than just 'sir'

Apologies to _Sluggy Freelance_, who invented the Demon Clothes-moths, and also to Teryaki Chicken for poking fun at his _Blood Hina_ creation.

Edited to fix a couple of errors.


	3. Chapter Three: HYPNOSIS?

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't. 

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at //oneoverzero.keenspace.com/ . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break... 

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be). 

The story so far: Keitaro has been Naru-punched clean through the fourth wall, and has struck a bargain with the Author to get some extra assistance. 

Words _in italics_ are thoughts. 

* * *

**Chapter Three: An out-of-character experience: HYPNOSIS?**

"So it's agreed, then?" said Keitaro, holding out his hand. 

"Okay - I wont do anything to break the rules unless you specifically ask for it." I said, muttering "wimp!" under my breath as I shook hands with him to seal our little arrangement. 

"Er, how do I get back to Hinata-sou, then?" asked Keitaro, staring dubiously at the pile of papers on my desk. "Incidentally, your command of Japanese is really, really poor..." 

"(You'll pay for that!) Ah, you should just pop back into the story once I start writing," I guessed. "And, I'll write it so that you still have knowledge of me, and you can just send me a thought when you want me to, ah, tweak reality. So, ready?" 

"I.. I suppose so. Will it hurt?" 

"You never get hurt by anything in this story, haven't you realised? Anyway, here we go. Er.. are you _sure_ you don't want to reconsider about those moths? ...? Oh well...." and with those words, I put pen to paper, and Keitaro vanished from the meta-story. 

* * *

With a crash, Keitaro landed swirly-eyed in the woods outside Hinata. Although Naru had often used him as a target for her temper, this was the first time that she had hit him hard enough to result in hallucinations! Keitaro shook his head, sadly. Another long walk back to the house, and probably more punishment once he arrived. 

_I wish I had some sort of transport,_ he thought to himself as he considered the long walk. 
    
    ... and then turned around to see a hot new motorcycle, complete with
    keys and a sign saying "For Keitaro". 

He face-faulted as he saw this and realised what this meant. That motorcycle had just... appeared. And he had this strange feeling, of something being not quite as it should be. Clearly, the hallucinations had been slightly more than that. 

As the full implications of this new-found ability finally percolated through his brain, an expression briefly crossed Keitaro's face that would have looked far more appropriate on that of Kanako. Moments later, the woods were empty apart from trees, and a cloud of petrol fumes as Keitaro roared off towards Hinata-sou. 

* * * 

"You sure managed to get back quickly! Maybe Naru is losing her touch..." quipped a grinning Kitsune as Keitaro walked back in through the front door of Hinata-sou. "Talking of Naru, I'd stay well clear of her for the time being if I were you - and Shinobu is none to happy with you, either. Apparently she has to re-launder all of the clothing you touched, at Motoko's insistence. You really screwed up today!" she laughed, as she raised a glass of sake and wandered out. 

_May as well finish cleaning the pool, then._ thought Keitaro to himself, as he decided against returning upstairs to the study group. Sadly for him, though, his apparent inability to recognise patterns caused him to repeat his previous error by walking out to the hot springs without first making a proper check for residents. An irate shout reminded him, albeit too late, of his error. 

"Urashima! After your previous disgrace, you persist?! You... you...!" 

Motoko, again wearing a towel and little else, raised her sword ready to blast him back into orbit, as he backed away babbling apologies. 

_I wish she wasn't so angry with me!_ he thought desperately, as he looked around for some sort of cover. 
    
    
    and then Motoko realised, she could never harm Keitaro... not the
    man she loved. The sword fell from her fingers as she thought
    instead of how it would feel to have that masculine body pressed
    frimly up against hers. Her heart beat strongly in her breast.
    "Oh Keitaro, make me a woman..." she whispered...
    

A confused look passed over Motoko's face as she tried to work out what she had just been saying. That didn't sound like her! Well - only slightly, anyway. As she stood there, frozen, Keitaro decided to make good his escape, and kept running until he reached the comparative safety of his room. 

_What the hell was that?_ he thought in a panic. _I only asked for her to be less angry! Are you still trying to set me up with an out-of-character lemon?_ he added with a suspicious thought, before finally calming down and deciding to get back to studying. At least, he couldn't get into any more trouble by doing that - and maybe he should give some thought to a plan for enacting a bit of poetic justice on Narusegawa... 

A couple of hours later, Keitaro was tearing his hair out over a Japanese history textbook. His wails of anguish were loud enough to initially prevent him from hearing the scrape as the ceiling hole was opened from above, and a Liddo-kun poked through. 

"Keitaro?" came a brusque voice from above. 

"Narusegawa? I'm sorry, really, it was an accident... I..." 

"What are you talking about now? Look, do you want to come up and join us here? Not that I care about you, of course, but your whining at being too stupid to answer any questions is distracting us. Maybe you will be quieter if we can give you the benefit of our superior intelligence. But, remember, one perverted thought and you'll be back down there faster than Kitsune can down a free glass of sake." 

Without waiting for a reply, Liddo-kun was pulled back up and the cover slid back. 

_Right, now._ thought Keitaro. _I'm going up there, but listen - I don't want any more clumsiness from me! Let Naru do the pratfalls, if you like, but I'm fed up with it. And, just in case you get any ideas, NO out-of-character thoughts, NO lemon menage-a-trois, and certainly NO clothes-moths! I'm beginning to realise that I'll have to be a bit more precise with my requests!_

And, with that last thought, Keitaro gathered up his study materials, and started his walk up the stairs towards Naru's room, feeling more confident that he had done for a long time. 

"Keitarroooo! Want to play with my new, improved Mecha-tama?" came a voice from behind him as he turned the corner. 

"Ah, not really, Suu-chan!" Keitaro quickly replied. "I'm just off to study with Naru and Mutsumi, and I don't really have the time..." 

"Well, he wants to play with Keitaro! I played panty-hunt with Keitaro this morning, so you have to play with me! Mecha-tama five, lock on and attack!" she yelled, hyperactively jumping back and forth with a mad giggle. A metallic turtle rose up behind her, red eyes glowing, and launched a barrage of missiles down the corridor towards a defenceless Keitaro. 

_Oh no, I don't want these to hit me!_ he thought in terror, before suddenly realising (too late) that he had not specified an alternate target... 
    
    
    suddenly the missiles twisted around in mid-air, and began to home in
    on Kaolla Suu instead. In surprise, she began hitting a number of
    buttons on a control box in front of her, but to no effect...
    

"That's strange, why have Suu's toys stopped working properly?" she said in a bewildered voice, just before a huge explosion bounced her back down the corridor. When the smoke cleared, Mecha-tama five was a pile of spare parts, with a swirly-eyed and slightly crispy Kaolla Suu sprawled atop. Keitaro began to run back to check that she was unhurt, but there seemed to be no lasting damage since before he could reach her, she leapt back up and shouted, 

"You won't get away so easily! Wait until Suu gets Mech-tama six!" and ran back to her room. 

Keitaro shrugged, and turned back to slide open the door to Naru's room. 

* * * 

Meanwhile, in her own room, Motoko was puzzling over her strange behaviour back in the hot springs. 

"Why did I suddenly have such thoughts?" she asked herself, "Although I admire Urashima for ... some things, I could never see myself as becoming... intimate with such a pervert! Is he somehow forcing himself on me? Maybe he is using hypnosis on me... but I refuse to believe that so weak a man could subdue my will! I will meditate and strengthen myself to resist his powers - even if he is rather cute ... no! Concentrate! ArgghhhH!!" she screamed silently to herself. However, amidst the turmoil of her feelings for Keitaro, she was sure of one thing - _something_ was _not_ as it should be. 

* * *

* * *

Chapter three, although it still feels to me more like a filler. I'm going to have fun in chapter 4, when I get to indulge myself in some healthy Naru-bashing. Nothing is more healing for the soul.. except, maybe, that self-insert lemon with Shinobu... 

Read and review, as always. 


	4. Chapter Four: CLUMSY

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't. 

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at //oneoverzero.keenspace.com/ . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break... 

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be). 

The story so far: Keitaro has been Naru-punched clean through the fourth wall, and has struck a bargain with the Author to get some extra assistance. Keitaro is now starting to realise just what he can achieve with this, although he also realises that the author is not 100% on his side... 

Words _in italics_ are thoughts. 

* * *

**Chapter Four: Naru loses her poise: CLUMSY!**

As Keitaro slid open the door to Naru's room, he felt more confident than ever before. He also experienced another emotion that he could not immediately identify - possibly because previously it had been the sole preserve of his gothic sister. 

_Now, remember our agreement,_ he thought as he stepped forward - catching his foot on the threshold and tumbling forwards 
    
    
    ...only to catch himself neatly before falling over. Naru stood up in
    surprise, but somehow tripped over the skirt of the kotatsu and fell forward
    towards Keitaro. She grabbed out wildly as she fell, but only managed to
    catch hold of Keitaro's pants before she landed in a heap.
    Looking up, she found herself with her nose mere inches from the front
    of Keitaro's boxer shorts.
    

Naru blushed in horror as she realised what had somehow just happened. Keitaro, meanwhile, tried not to think of the fact that Naru has just pulled down his pants and knelt in front of him as if she were about to... he quickly grabbed for his nose. Naru's features took on a familiar expression of anger, as she prepared her fist. 

"Ara, ara... should I maybe give you two some privacy?" asked Mitsumi of Naru, suddenly appearing between them. "You seem very eager..." 

"Ah! No! I mean...." shouted Naru in a panic, waving her arms wildly and scooting backwards at top speed. "Ah.. lets get back to studying! Weren't you going to explain this problem to me, Mutsumi-san?" 

"Mmm? Oh... " said Mitsumi in a somewhat disappointed voice, looking at Keitaro's boxer shorts "If you don't want to do anything, then maybe I..." 

"Mutsumi! This problem! Study!" shrieked Naru. 

"Ara... Maybe Kei-kun can help you? Come on..." 

"That baka?" Naru scoffed as the other two members of the group sat down at the kotatsu, Keitaro having first repositioned his clothing. "It's because of his stupidity that we had to call him up here so that _we_ could help _him_! Really..." and with that, she looked back down at her work, and tried to ignore them. 

Mutsumi flashed a sunny smile at Keitaro, offered him a slice of watermelon from a nearby plate, and then returned to her study. Finally, everything was quiet again apart from the sound of scratching pens and thoughtful murmurs. 

A knock at the door made them look up, to see Shinobu nervously peering around the edge of the door. She was holding a small tray with tea and snacks. 

"Ah... Sempais? Would... would you like some tea? It's alright if you don't, but I thought..." 

"Oh, that's very kind, Shinobu-chan!" answered Naru, in relief at being given a chance to take a break from her intensive studying. Standing up, she walked over to help Shinobu with the tray 
    
    
    but somehow managed to catch her foot on the edge of the board covering
    the hole down to Keitaro's room. Falling forward, she crashed into
    Shinobu and ended up in a swirly-eyed heap by the door, covered in tea
    and cookies. Oh yes, and the tea soaked her top and made it go transparent.
    

"S...Sempai! I'm sorry! I'll go and get some more immediately!" wailed Shinobu, grabbing the tray and running away down the corridor in tears as Naru clambered groggily to her feet. 

_What has come over me today?_ she wondered to herself, turning back towards the kotatsu, and wondering why Keitaro was staring at her and groping wildly for tissues to halt his nosebleed. Then she noticed her soaked and nearly transparent top in horror. 

"Augh! Don't look, you pervert!" she shouted, crimson with embarassment, while diving for her spare clothing. At the same time as she raced to deal with her clothing problem, she also wondered how she could possibly have become so soaked from three small cups of tea... 

"Ara, ara... maybe we should stop studying for now, and give Naru-chan a bit of privacy. What do you think, Kei-kun?" asked Mutsumi, moving towards the door with Keitaro in tow. The two left quietly, as Naru angrily changed out of her tea-soaked clothing. 

From the corridor, Mutsumi's voice echoed faintly, asking Keitaro if he wouldn't rather come and study in the hot-springs with her. Back in her room, Naru's mood was still swinging wildly between Embarassment, Confusion, and her old friend, Anger. 

"There is no way I could have become so soaked from a few cups of tea!" she fumed to herself, "This is a stupid piece of fan-fiction! This..." Confusion covered her face as she stopped, puzzled. 

"What in the world is a 'fan-fiction'?" 

* * * 

Keitaro walked along the path outside of Hinata-sou, humming the tune of "I'm a dreamer". He was in a very happy mood - experiencing a meeting with Naru that had not ended in a flight through the nearest wall and into the sky was a pleasant change. Being able to see Naru suffer from Keitaro-like clumsiness was merely icing on the cake, of course. 

He sighed to himself, remembering Mutsumi's invitation to a shared bath in the hot springs, albeit for the purpose of study. His self-preservation instinct had caused him to quickly decline the opportunity, out of fear of the consequences should they be discovered by any of the other residents, but at the back of his mind he could not help but be a bit regretful. After all, he was now safe from anything that they could do, right? 

Suddenly, he was jolted out of his inner monologue by a happy shout from behind him. 

"Mecha-tama six! Missile lock achieved! Go go go!" shouted Kaolla Suu, jumping about and laughing in anticipation of the inevitable outcome as a salvo of missiles homed in on their hapless target. 

_No! Send them somewhere else!_ he quickly thought. 
    
    
    The missiles swerved in mid-flight, and changed direction. They circled
    Hinata-sou twice, before suddenly rocketing through an open window on the
    top floor. There was a loud explosion, and a shriek. A few seconds later,
    Naru landed in front of Kaolla, swirly-eyed and scorched.
    

"S..Suu-chan! What was that for?" gasped a dizzy Naru. 

"Naaaru! Suu's toys don't work properly any more! What's going on?" pouted the Indian-looking girl, "Mecha-tama can't hit Keitaro at _all_!" 

Kaolla Suu truned back to Keitaro, who was creeping away from the scene in case Naru decided she needed something to blame. 

"Don't worry Keitaro! Mecha-tama seven will get you!" she shouted, and hyperactively bounced away, leaving Naru behind to dust herself off and return to what was left of her room.

"Something is _defintely_ not right here," she said to herself as she painfully crawled back into the inn, "and I think Keitaro has something to do with it..."

* * *

* * *

Mmm, that was fun, giving Naru a bit of a kicking. Shame Keitaro turned down Mutsumi's offer of a bath - how easy do I have to make it for him? 

So.. is Keitaro turning to the Dark Side? Is the lure of sweet revenge on the girls enough to crack his shell? And if he does give in to the taste of power, then will he reconsider about the Demon Clothes-Moths? 

And what is happening to the fourth wall? 

More in the next chapter. 

Kotatsu - that sort of heated table witha skirt that is Mutsumi's secret revision technique.  
Sempais - is this a valid plural?  
Pants - I am using the AMERICAN word since that is how Love Hina is dubbed. For all British-English speakers, I meant TROUSERS. He was still wearing his underwear after the incident. 


	5. Chapter Five: SUSPICION

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't. 

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at //oneoverzero.keenspace.com/ . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break... 

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be). 

The story so far: Keitaro has been Naru-punched clean through the fourth wall, and has struck a bargain with the Author to get some extra assistance. Keitaro is now starting to realise just what he can achieve with this, although there seems to be some growing suspicion amongst the girls that all is not as it should be... 

Second draft... lots of author notes at end. 

* * *

**Chapter Five: An out-of-character experience: SUSPICION**

"Sake, sake..!" hummed Kitsune to herself as she poured herself another cup from the oversized bottle next to the couch. Life was much more fun for her since Keitaro's arrival - largely due to the ease with which she could extort money from him. In fact, at the moment she found herself in need once again, since the bottle was nearly empty. Never mind - Keitaro was on his way in, and a brief exposure of her... assets... would ensure a nosebleed and a fresh supply. 

She giggled to herself, semi-drunkenly. This would be too easy... 

Keitaro wandered into the entrace hallway, with a somewhat wicked grin on his face after seeing Naru's recent accident. Sure, he still loved her, but maybe experiencing his pain would make her somewhat more sympathetic to his constant problems? Wrapped up in these thoughts of Naru, he failed to notice Kitsune until she popped up from her hiding place behind the couch and hung her arms around his neck. 

"Hey, Keitaro!" she slurred, "I would be... really grateful... if you'd just nip out and get me a couple of bottles of sake! Shall we say, two bottles a grope?" She grabbed Keitaro's hand, and pressed it against her ample bosom. 

As Keitaro fought to contain yet another nosebleed brought on by the soft, warm flesh against which his hand was resting, he desperatly thought, _Why does she always do this to me? Can't she stop drinking so much, for once?_
    
    
    Suddenly Kitsune realised, this alcohol-soaked life was no way to carry on.
    She dropped Keitaros hand, and threw away the sake bottle, as she finally
    understood her true vocation -
    "I will retire from the world, and join a nunnery! Lead an aescetic life,
    finally alcohol-free and healthy!" she announced to the world passionately.
    

As Keitaro backed out of the room in shock, Kitsune shook her head sadly. 

"That's the last time I buy that brand!" she thought to herself, "That's the worst hallucinations I've ever had! I think I need another drink... me in a nunnery? Yeah, right..." 

As she staggered out of the room, two figures entered by the main door. Kitsune paused only to shout out, "Keitaro! Door!", and wandered off in search of a less risky brand of her favourite drink. 

When Keitaro arrive back at the entrance, the two visitors had already taken up their positions ready to drag him down to the couch. 

"Keitaro! Remember your best friends?" they chorused as they dragged him down between them. 

"Uh... Hentai and Shirli, right?" 

"Augh! It's Haitani and Shirai! Aren't you tired of that old joke yet?" they yelled, while holding up placards with their names written on in red ink. 

"Anyway, " they continued, more calmly, "we have decided to visit you because we are in a position to do you a great favour! Yes, we have some free tickets for the local amusement park, and we..." 

"Want to give me a couple so that I can take Naru on a date?" 

"No..." 

"Want to _sell_ me a couple so that I can take Naru on a date?" 

"Good idea, but no. We want to give you the opportunity to set us up on dates with a couple of the hot babes you are sharing this place with! We know you've been feeling guilty at having all this hot crew to yourself for so long, so now we graciously give you the opportunity to share with us!". They beamed at him while waving a handful of tickets in his face. "Any of them will do, although Shirai has a preference for Haruka and I'd rather not have Naru - my bones are still a bit damaged from last time. So, when can we expect you to let us know?" 

Keitaro slumped down even lower at this verbal barrage. 

"Come on guys, I can barely get myself a date. What makes you think I can convince any of the girls to give you the time of day?" he moaned. 

"We have faith in you! By the way, if it's Motoko, make sure she wears that french maid outfit, hmm? Although I'd rather have Shinobu - the quiet ones are always a bit more passionnate in the sack..." Haitani winked at Keitaro with a seriously hentai expression on his face. 

_Can't these guys find some other outlet for their hormones?_ thought Keitaro. 
    
    
    Haitani looked at Shirai, and caught hold of his hand.
    "Shirai," he said hesitantly, "you know, all this time there has only been
    one person on whom I could rely to always be there for me..."
    Shirai looked deep into his eyes.
    "Yes..." he replied, "we have always been together, but I never realised that
    you felt the same way about me... why do we waste so much time chasing these
    unappreciative women when we already have what we need?"
    "Oh Shirai!"
    "Haitani!"
    And they drew each other into a passionate embrace, tears pouring from their
    eyes in joy.
    

Keitaro looked on in amazement, his jaw almost hitting the floor. It probably served them right for making that comment about Shinobu, but how would they react now? 

Haitani and Shirai suddenly pulled back from each other, with a bright blush on their faces. 

"Haitani... I don't know what came over me..." mumbled Shirai. 

"Me neither!" he responded. "Did you... mean what you said?" 

"Oh yes, every word! I don't know how I finally found the courage to confess to you!" 

"I'm so pleased!" shouted Haitani, as they linked hands and ran out of the building together, leaving behind not only Keitaro but also the rest of the residents, all looking completely amazed. Shinobu looked swirly-eyed and dazed as she took in the full meaning of the exchange. Motoko and Naru could only be described as looking relieved. 

"I always thought they seemed to be trying too hard," said Naru, "I guess that explains a few things..." 
    
    
    Later, back in Naru's room, Mutsumi was changing her dress after getting
    watermelon juice on the old one. The Okinawan Angel sensuously undid the
    buttons, before allowing her dress to fall softly into a pool at her feet.
    She admired her flawless body in a full length mirror, from her long legs
    to her curvaceous and very feminine bosom, all clad in the most exotic
    of feminine lingerie.
    "Maybe I will also change my underwear," she thought, as she started to
    unclip her
    

Mutsumi looked around. She had the strange feeling that someone was watching her, but couldn't quite work out why. 

"Ara.. is someone there? Kei-kun? Naru-chan?" she asked, grabbing a towel to cover herself. "You know, this is only PG-13 - you can't take this gratuitous scene any further, hentai!" 

Down in the kitchen, Shinobu worked had at what she did best. Although she was always uncertain of her other abilities, she was almost sure that her cooking impressed Keitaro-sempai. She would make a special effort tonight to give him his favourite - maybe then he would agree to another date... if she could ever work up the courage to ask him. 

"Oh, sempai!" she whispered to herself, "I love you so much! I don't know how I will ever manage to be with you though... Cheshire would just be too jealous to write us together..." 

She paused in her chopping of the vegetables. 

"Who on earth is Cheshire?" 

* * *

* * *

Now the fourth wall is definitely showing a few major cracks. What is going on? And why hasn't Keitaro jumped Mutsumi yet? 

And, did any of you suspect Haitani and Shirai swung that way? A bit of a surprise to me, I can tell you. Serves them right for making lascivious comments about the sweet, innocent kawaii Shinobu, though. And Shinobu's right, I'd never let anyone else get his hands on her in _my_ fan-fic. 

Talon - I would be proud to serve in Mutsumi's Phoenix Order, as long as she will permit me to take charge of the POWs once we have defeated the SASA. 

Turrones - You're welcome to have Motoko, I was only toying with her before I destroy her utterly. Bwahahaa. etc. 

Shalashaska - I know you only criticise my spelling because you fear my competition for the irresistable Shinobu. You have no chance - my plan is unstoppable. Just watch:  
_(...soft focus scene for Cheshire's imagination....)_  
After years of battle, decimating the forces of all other sides, Mitsumi's Phoenix Order will abandon their previous neutrality and rise up to crush the SASA forces, taking Shinobu as a prisoner. Afterwards, Mutsumi-sama awards her faithful General Cheshire with kisses and Watermelon, and control of the POWs.  
_THE SCENE: A dank dungeon of the MPO. SHINOBU sits huddled by the wall, in tears but still registering 110% on the kawaii-o-meter.  
The cell door opens. It is CHESHIRE, looking handsome and manly, as ever._  
SHINOBU: What.. what is it? Have you come to gloat over my defeat?  
CHESHIRE: No, my love, I have come to deliver you from this vile prison, and give you the freedom you deserve! I could not sit idly by while so cute and innocent a maiden languishes in so inhospitable a place!  
_CHESHIRE's teeth sparkle, as he dramatically swings his cloak over his shoulder._  
SHINOBU: But I've been languishing here for two ruddy years!  
CHESHIRE: And today is your SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY, and my plan for your escape has come to fruition! Now I can release you!  
SHINOBU: But what about the Mutsumi, Talon, and the rest?  
CHESHIRE: Mutsumi forgot about you long ago - she doesnt have much of an attention span. Beautiful, yes, but a tad ditzy. She is currently upstairs plaing 'hide the turtle' with Talon, so no danger of our being interrupted.  
_SHINOBU looks up at CHESHIRE and sees again how amazingly attractive he is._  
CHESHIRE: All these years, I have held my love for you inside, until I was able to plan your escape for this, the day of your SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY.  
_SHINOBU's eyes sparkle, and she blushes extremely cutely. She jumps up and holds onto CHESHIRE tightly.  
CHESHIRE notices that the extra couple of years have pleasantly augmented SHINOBU's previously girlish figure._  
SHINOBU: Oh my love! Take me away from this! Make me the queen of your heart!  
CHESHIRE: Of course! Come with me and let me ..ah.. 'serve' you! I would never cause you any pain or hurt...  
_... later, in Cheshire's room ..._  
SHINOBU: Well, that did hurt briefly, but wow, was it worth it....  
CHESHIRE: Happy SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY, my love!  
SHINOBU: Why do you have this fixation on my being sixteen, anyway? Ohhh, I see, you don't want people to think you're a hentai paedo.  
CHESHIRE: Want to marry me, and spend the rest of your life cooking, making love and wearing cute dresses like a good Japanese wife?  
SHINOBU: OK, sounds good to me!

And there you have it. Just give up now, why don't you? Ahem. 


	6. Chapter Six: CHAOS!

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't. 

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at //oneoverzero.keenspace.com/ . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break... 

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be). 

The story so far: Keitaro has been Naru-punched clean through the fourth wall, and has struck a bargain with the Author to get some extra assistance. Keitaro's over-use of this power (and Cheshire's self-serving abuse of it) has caused more than a few cracks to appear in the fourth wall, and the girls are getting suspicious. 

* * *

**Chapter Six: Keitaro takes it too far: CHAOS!**

Keitaro stood outside Naru's room. He was nervous, but this time he knew that he would be able to achieve his goal - he has some special assistance! 

_OK, I need your help here,_ he thought. _I want to make an eloquent confession to Naru, to woo her with my charms and not annoy her with my clumsiness. I always panic normally, you have to help me! I know you don't think she's worth it, but you promised to help me!_

Taking a deep breath, Keitaro slid open the door - only to see Naru in the middle of 
    
    
    making some tea. Before she could say a word, Keitaro stepped up to her and took her by the hand.

"Keitaro? What do you want?" she said uncertainly. She was not used to this determined expression on his face, and he seemed unusually coordinated. 
    
    
    "Naru-chan.." said Keitaro, dropping to one knee. "For too long have I stood
    back, filled with feelings for you and yet too fearful of rejection to speak
    my mind. My body yearns for your touch so strongly that even your vicious
    beatings of my defenceless body are but caresses. I can no longer hold these
    words inside, but I have to shout - I love you!"
    

Naru looked at Keitaro in astonishment. However, this did not sound like the Keitaro she knew. 
    
    
    Keitaro swept her off of her feet, holding her in his arms.
    "My love..." he whispered, "all I crave is but one tender kiss from those
    honey-sweet lips, that I may forever after remember the true bliss
    besides which even heaven itself pales into insignificance."
    Keitaro took a deep breath, as Naru gazed at him passionately.
    "And then - my love! - perchance we can move our relationship to a deeper
    plane, and you will allow me to make a true woman of you..."
    

This sounded more like Kentaro than Keitaro, as far as Naru was concerned. Something was not right, and no way would she be party to it! Struggling out of Keitaro's arms, she backed off in horror, before running out of the room. 

"What the hell was that supposed to be?" yelled Keitaro at the sky. "You're supposed to be helping me, not frightening her off!" 

* * * 

"Residents of Hinata-sou," began Motoko, as she opened the secret house meeting in the loft. 

"Ara.. and me..." added Mutsumi, handing around a plate of watermelon. 

"Er, yes... when did you get here?" continued Motoko, slightly thrown off her stride. "Anyway, I have called you here to this secret meeting to discuss the recent disturbing events that have been occurring. I believe we have all felt ourselves affected by some malign outside influence?" 

"Ara, ara... I was only spied on while changing," mentioned Mutsumi, "and I didn't really mind, I was just worried that it would be too much for a PG-13..." 

"And Mutsumi neatly gives us an example of another curious phenomenon - what did you mean by that statement, anyway?" 

"Well, I know Cheshire admires my body, but if I was naked then it would be too hentai, and Cheshire would have to..." 
    
    
    Mutsumi suddenly keeled over and passed out, before she could elaborate
    on exactly what she had meant.
    Motoko also decided it would be much more fun to abandon the meeting, and
    to go and chop the air with her katana, or some other training thing.
    

Motoko narrowed her eyes. 

"No, I did not." she said angrily. "I'm ready for it now, you won't catch me out again! This... thing... has been trying to influence my mind!" 

"I've had some wierd hallucinantions..." mused Kitsune. 

"Suu's Mecha-tama can't hit Keitaro any more!" 

"Haitani and Shirai... although they didn't seem to bothered by it..." 

"I seem to be falling over around Keitao a lot recently..." said Naru, "and I think he is the common thread here. We should find him, and ask him nicely to explain himself..." 

* * * 

Keitaro hung trussed up like a turtle over a large cauldron of hot water, as Kaolla gleefully added chopped vegetables to the mixture. Motoko swung her blade in practice chops a hair's breadth below Keitaro's head, and Naru (dressed in a Chef's hat and apron) stood in front of him with arms folded. Shinobu hung back with a worried look on her face. 

"Don't do this to me!" cried Keitaro, tears pouring down his face. "What do you want from me now?" 

_I wish they'd let me go!_ he thought desperately. 
    
    
    Suddenly the girls thought that they had toyed with Keitaro enough, and
    they would let him go. Naru went to untie the rope, and
    

"No, we don't!" shouted Motoko, "You can't control us like this! Urashima: _What is going on_?" 

Keitaro went into a panic. His trump card was no longer working! He would have to be brave, and devise a clever escape plan. 

"Alright! I'll tell you everything!" he yelled in terror. "Just dont hurt me! It's all Cheshire-san's fault!" 

"Weakling!" muttered Motoko. 
    
    
    Keitaro throught about what a spineless wimp he was.
    

"Ch-Cheshire?" piped up Shinobu, "That's the name Mutsumi mentioned! And, I think I recognise it, somehow..." 

"Yes.. he's the author!" wailed Keitaro. "He promised to help me out in difficult situations, and to get some revenge on Naru (he doesn't like her for some reason). He always does more stuff than I ask for, though... He offered to write in some sex scenes for me, but I refused! Let me go!!" 

"Author?" said the girls, momentarily confused... and then with a crash, the fourth wall broke completely and they suddenly all knew. 

"Alright, Cheshire-san! I know you can hear me! Why don't you explain just what the hell you are trying to do here, heh?" shouted Motoko. "You aren't going to get away with it so easily, you know..." She broke off, as the sound of the telephone ringing cut through her tirade. 

"Well, someone answer it!" snapped Naru, as they all stood around looking at each other. When it became obvious that noone really wanted to, she stormed forward and snatched the receiver form the cradle. 

"Moshi-moshi? Hinata-sou des!" she yelled into the mouthpiece. 

"Ah.. Naru-chan? It is Cheshire here... I believe you were wanting to speak with me?" I said, heistantly. 

Naru face-faulted. "Cheshire-san? On the telephone??" 

"Well, you see, it seems to work for Belldandy, so I thought I'd use the same method. Not bad, ne? Anyways... how come you don't give me a -sama title? You gave one to Akamatsu-sama when he did his little self-insert at Christmas..." 

"NANE? Listen, the day I give you a -sama will be the day you produce material as good as Akamatsu-sama, which is to say, never!" she shrieked. "Just be thankful you don't get called Baka-san, after the mess you have made of things here! And finally, who the hell gave you permission to call me Naru-chan?" 

"Oh, don't be upset Naru-ch... er, Narusegawa. Heh... Look, all you have to do is just get on with things as normal. I'll patch up the break in the fourth wall and it will be like nothing ever happened - just like the walls at Hinata-sou, in fact. I've got it all under control... -click- " 

* * *

The telephone cut out on me, suddenly, as a hand reached past me to press down on the cradle. In shock, I looked over my shoulder to see a well-dressed Japanese man in mirrored shades, looking most put out. 

"And who the hell are you?" I shouted, irritated at this further interference when my little fanfiction was already so far off the rails as to be almost irretrievable. 

"The name is Akamatsu," said the figure, "And I am NOT HAPPY with the mess you are making of MY STORY!" 

"Ah... well... Akamatsu-sama! I mean... it is only a fan-fiction, no real harm done, eh? Just a little bit of fourth-wall breaking, you understand. You even did a self-insert yourself, you know -" 

I should have known when to keep my big mouth shut. 

"NO HARM DONE?" he almost screamed. "Oh, normal fan-fiction is no problem. Out of character situations and lemons, I can live with.Even weirdos who concoct Shinobu/Kanako shojo-ai don't cause me many too sleepless nights. My _ten second_ self-insert amid _ten hours_ of anime was no problem. YOU, on the other hand have not just broken the fourth wall, you have almost destroyed it! You made a promise to help out Keitaro - _do you know how powerful that sort of link is in this universe?_ The fourth wall can't heal with that sort of energy going across it!" 

He took a deep breath. "I am going to need to do some serious work to repair this, and to start with, I have to somehow eliminate the link across the fourth wall that is preventing me from making repairs..." 

"Link? Er... _eliminate_?!" I stammered, backing up slightly, but there was nowhere to escape to. 

"BAKA!" he shouted. 

With a swing that would have made Naru proud, he whacked me into orbit. I flew through the wall without appearing to slow, and disappeared. 

**End of chapter 6**  


* * *

* * *

Apologies to Akamatsu-sama, first of all, for giving him a guest slot. He's already whacked me for it in the story. For people wondering about his self-insert - he had a couple of seconds in the Xmas special, when he gave Shinobu a temporary job selling Love Hina comics. 

Next, a mention to Kana Himezaki for 'Angel Light, Angel Dark' and that previously mentioned Kanako/Shinobu pairing. It takes writing skill to make something so screwy actually work! 

ne? - don't you agree?  
Nane? - what?  
Moshi-moshi - how to answer a telephone in Japan  
Baka - stupid. Dont you know this one already?  
shojo-ai - lesbian love story  
-sama - Very respectful suffix, like 'lord'  
-chan - very familiar suffix, loosely equivalent to 'dear' 


	7. EPILOGUE

**Keitaro breaks the Fourth Wall**

Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and I am not he. I wish it did belong to me (particularly Mutsumi and Shinobu), but it doesn't. 

The 'Fourth Wall' is the term used to describe the 'wall' between the 'real world' and the fictional world. Since a fictional character is not supposed to know about the 'real world', any time they interact with it, the Fourth Wall is broken. For a prime example of fourth-wall breaking, see the web comic 'One over zero' at //oneoverzero.keenspace.com/ . Since Keitaro has been launched through all the other walls (and the roof) of Hinata-sou, I figure there's only one he has left to break... 

Set between Christmas and Spring specials, according to the anime. Apologies in advance for misspellings, and incorrect Japanese. This is my first FanFic, so be gentle with me (or not, as the case may be). 

The story so far: Keitaro has been Naru-punched clean through the fourth wall, and then struck a bargain with the Author to get some extra assistance. However the constant interference damaged the fourth wall almost past repair, and Akamatsu-sama had to intervene to save the LoveHina universe. 

Words _in italics_ are thoughts. 

* * *

**Epilogue: The fourth wall is restored.**

With a crash, Cheshire landed swirly-eyed in the middle of Hinata-sou. Shaking his head, he looked up to see himself surrounded by beautiful girls... this would seem like a pleasant awakening, if it were not for the fact that, without exception, they all wore very angry expressions. Naru stepped forward, flanked by Motoko and Kitsune. 

"So... you would be Baka-san, I believe?" she asked in a deceptively sweet tone. 

"Er, actually, it would be Cheshire, but..." 

"BAKAAAA!" she screamed, and let fly with the fist she had been gathering behind her back. 

As Cheshire soared through the ceiling and into orbit, Keitaro followed his progress with his eyes. 

"Glad that wasn't me", he mused to himself. "Still, he certainly deserved it. I wonder who he was... Now, maybe it's time to get back to studying for Toudai..." 

As he turned to climb the stairs, he tripped over Tama-chan and landed in what can only be described as a compromising position with Naru - who managed to go from surprise, to pleasure, to anger in record time. 

Looks like things are back to normal at Hinata-sou... 

**The End!**  


* * *

* * *


End file.
